Inside the mind of me

Stuff I wish I could say on Facebook

“Eat soul whitey!”

“Fuck this shit!”

“Have you ever had to shave so bad that you could say you have man legs?”

“Hmmmm….What’s that saying….Oh yea. Shut the fuck up!”

“If you would stop sucking dick people might actually get ahead with hard work.”

“I wish I could punch you in the face.”

“I want to have sex soooooo bad.”

“I’m scared to ride the public bus system because I’m afraid I will get mugged.”

“I’m really not racist, it’s just up here a lot of black people yell obscenities and that scares me.”

“Why is it that I got hit on more when I got fat by Mexicans?”

“Bitch the reason why you’re so dumb is because you swallowed to much.”

“I believe God could be a highly intelligent alien.”

“I know you want me to shave down there more but it fucking hurts.”

“The only reason I talk to you and you think we are friends is because I despise conflict so I won’t tell you to back the fuck off.”

“Gahhhh! The next person to ask if I’m alright is going to get there fucking head shot off.”

“I enjoy reading boy love manga, and watching boy love anime. It SUPER turns me on.”

“I am not a virgin. But I am sure that is no surprise to you.”

“If I didn’t have all this people that I try to seem innocent to I could say whatever the fuck I wanted to.”

“My life sucks. If I could I would just end it all right now but I know you all would be sad so I will just continue to couch hop and do nothing.”

“To all my fellow Christians out there I plead with you. STOP forcing your religion on everybody. Soooo not cool.”

“I’ve been masturbating since the age of 9.”

“You know when it’s really cold and every ones nipples are poking through there shirts. I REALLY want to point it out.”

“Have you ever shaved off so much body hair that you clog your bathtub drain?”

“I walked 4 blocks and almost died from exhaustion.”

“You all know if I was 100 pounds lighter you would fuck me.”

“What do you call it when you have a 1 night stand before you get a boyfriend and then after you break up you have another 1 night stand with the same person?”

“I don’t like people porn, only anime porn.”

“Is it weird to have a crush on someone when you’re already dating someone?”

“If you continuously ask to hang out and I always have something going on, I most likely do NOT want to hang out with you.”

“If you are my family read this. I wish I wasn’t born into my family.”

“Why do I have 450 Facebook friends if I’m only going to talk to 2 of you.”

“You’re only complimenting my pictures to make me feel better.”

“I am bi-sexual. That means I like to have sex with girls and guys. Did you read that fellow church friends.”

“I believe gays, and good people no matter who will go to heaven.”

“There people in my family that should be in jail. Maybe even in prison.”

“When I have children they are going to bible school. Hear that my future unknown husband in my little Facebook world. Just warning you.”

“If you’re reading this now I’m right behind you………………………Gahhh! Just kidding.”

“I want a lot of things but I will put in no effort.”

“My younger brother is more successful then I am. DEPRESSING.”

“Math can suck my big black dick.”

“The man of my dreams is the following: Tall, skinny, long hair, unique eyes, piercings, tattoos, artistic, romantic, musical, and funny. And does not have a drug problem. Does not exist.”

“Girls poop too you know.”

“It’s that time of the month. Don’t fuck with me or you’ll get the string.” (I laughed out loud to that one. Bahahahaha)

“Midget and obese porn is grosssss. Like you wish you had a machine to erase memories gross.”

“Zombie bitches are sexy.”

“If any of my future bosses are reading this post I say to you. RESPECT MY FUCKING PRIVACY YOU ASS-HOLE!!!. There it is.”

“On the outside I am a sweet, kind, and understanding person. On the inside I’m imagining ripping your face off because you had the nerve to speak to me.”

“Would you date me based on my eyes?”

“I will have sex with you if you have a slightly above average penis size and average looks.”

“If you are a black gangster I will immediately assume you might mug me unless you start up a conversation with me and I find you kind.”

“Just because I want to live on a farm doesn’t mean I would become a red neck that fucks animals.”

Well there is probably a lot more I could think of but I will leave it at this for now. Maybe this will help you start your own page on stuff you wish you could say on Facebook. Ta ta for now. ^.^

 

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